Astounding Wolf-Man Review

Ya know, this book got me to thinking that old Michael Landon take on the Wolfman catches a lot of unnecessary flack. Sure he eschewed normal man-wolf behavior and opted to choke a bitch out instead of dispatching a victim in the expected feral fashion, but the man was breaking down stereotypes. The average woof-man would likely bare fangs then proceed to gnaw off an arm while claw slashing an abdomen to midriff release a steaming miles long pile of intestinal fortitude. Not ol’ Landon, the Highway to Heaven creep took lupine mannerisms to an up close and personal vibe and wrapped paws around neck and gave it a furry pressurized squeeze. I could only imagine the victims thoughts as she was being loomed down upon by an adult male sized plushie. “Is this beast going to hug me or pelvic thrust my leg? Oh wow, those hairy mitts are kind of soft on my collar. Oh shit, this mutt is strangling me. Does Wolfman really have nards?”

The modern day lycanthrope get all aggro and it’s like they are listening to Master of Puppets and snorting ground up tiger balls before they embark on their nightly forage of flesh. No class at all like my man Michael. No….class….at ….all. Oh, so anyhoo, I am sitting here banging on keys to write a little something about this book. When my friend first told me there was a collection of Wolfman comics, a tickling wave of excitement washed over me and I envisioned classic movie monster shenanigans and the bustin’ of silver bullet caps. Nope, it’s an average hero imagining with highly unlikable characters engaging is some typical comic book treadmill trudging. The writing by Robert Kirkman, also of Walking Dead fame, is standard fare and it takes 7 issues to wade through before any eyebrow slanting actions take place. Somewhat surprising since The Walking Dead constantly shocks the shite out of me. The art by Jason Howard doesn’t satisfy my style palate at all and seems like it might be more at home in an issue of Disney presents-Crap for Kids.

Overall rating- 2 stanky squirrel and chipmunk bone laced Wolfman lawn droppings out of 5.