"Never get between a man and his coffee this early in the morning," said the man to his daughter. A…

A shocking and offensive ad campaign has been rolled out across 18 Catholic universities in the United States featuring a…

your world is covered in dog diarrhea

The Blind Girl by John Everett Millais. The original double rainbow. Too bad they didn’t have Youtube in 1856

Forget World War III, that's so 80's. The real threat is the Carly Simon Wars. Marily Manson, interviewed on Omaha…

Thous ist homeless and shall work for morsels sir. Wilst work for Morsels.  George Will Slept Here and he will…

Your Eyes Look Like They Smell Like Corn

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7iZ3qfJ0I8g&context=C33c1b66ADOEgsToPDskJDf0RUsnvuKSGguoKOxdSZ[/youtube Video above, and below is the transcript of Steven Hawking's terrifying 911 call during his ordeal in a squatch…

There’s a new movie out called We Bought a Zoo. You may think it could never happen, but it already…

Forget the tip. We Need Singles & Newport and Gilrfriend. Spotted at Hess Station in Northern NJ.

Tonight at the mall pet store I overheard a woman saying, “Rabbit, your nails are like hypodermic needles.  My arm!”…

In 1564 the native american indians taught the pilgrims how to survive the harsh north american winters by smoking four…

The ghost of Ronald Reagan is haunting the Whitehouse, quite literally. He first appeared to Obama while he was literally…

In the great year of 1978, women were freed from their bloody bondage by the invention of a simple wax…

You were scraped out of my mind 3 yrs and 2 months ago.

Dear Stinkbug, I do not appreciate coming home to find you on my toothbrush. Since you touched it, I am…

Day 1: I woke up this morning to the sound of birds pecking inside of my walls, which was creepy,…

Go pack your cavities with sugar.

Don’t lie to kids or withhold the truth from them. Most little kids are smarter than you give them credit…

On Oct 18, 2011 dozens of wild and dangerous animals were let loose from a private zoo in Zanesville, OH.

Around midnight on April 25th, a 32 year old man ran into a police station in his underwear asking for…

I just want to say thanks to the drunken asshole, walking down the middle of the road at night wearing…

EMToast contributor Toe Fu has taken on an ambitious photo project for video game shirt company Meat Bun. He's got…

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life ... Never make a pretty woman your wife ...

i had a dream about satan and some cave that had an outcropping in it that was carved to look…

Facebook sentiment of the year.

A new study conducted by Station Park Cancer Hospital has shown that between the years 1973 and 2010 ninety-nine percent…

See what our customers have to say: Horse Vestors Understood My Unique Situation "...HorseVestors seemed to understand my unique situation.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE CONTACT: Randall Stott NEW ‘BLEEP YOUR BOSS’ REALITY SHOW HITS CLACKAMAS, OREGON Clackamas, OR - EMToast Entertainment…

Comes a time in a man’s life when he’s got to decide. Alligator or crocodile? Which will I be? I…

These were the final miles of a summer journey.  The four passengers consisted of the driver, the girlfriend,  the sister,…

I’m 97 years old, and I never heard of cancer until I was 12 years old.  My neighbor fell down…

Find and circle all the famous authors that are hidden on the grid below. Click to enlarge. Don’t blow out…

The green revolution is upon us with everything from recycling, reusing, up-cycling and re-purposing. It’s all about what’s old is…

I took my love to a gazebo. We drove past the gazebo. There were no giraffes by this gazebo. photo…

It’s Friday night and the Dandelions are ready to hit the clubs. It’s just past 12 so all the cool…

How do you know if you’re a hoarder? Here are the 10 telltale signs that indicate hoarding behavior. 1. If…

A local restaurant faxed their lunch menu to the office of a friend with an unusual lunch special– Rip Rourin…

My son has a corn tooth.  That boy loves to eat it right off the cob like a little typewriter.

Easter bunny get up this morning and he want hims meat.  Them childrens was runnin all around up and down…

They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. But what if the eyes you are looking into have…

Winter’s Bone is the title of a movie, but do you know what Winters Bone means? The dictionary definition of…

The dolphin left his cave in search of human prey.  Only the moon watched.

Ever taken a psychology class? I took one as a night class at a community college years ago. The professor…

If there’s one thing I learned from Pac-Man it’s that the fruit is a trap.  You might think it’s a…

By: jake.auzzie Just when you thought “Biever Fever” was over, Justin Bieber has decided that tampons and maxi-pads should be…