Belgian tourist, Julio Prejean, witnessed the terrorizing occurrence while vacationing in Honolulu, Hawaii. Prejean told police, “It was a safe…

That’s the assistant mayor. The mayor has beige pants, the assistant mayor has white pants and sneakers

In college,  a professor asked the class why does the black community reject Michael Jackson?  (This was before MJ died…

My dog posed for a sketch.  I placed him on interview.  He is a French serial killer.  French is the…

Merry Christmas to all from your friends at EMToast.

I overheard some hipsters talking at the flea market. The one hipster says to the other hipster , “One thing…

Our turkey who art in heaven, hollow be thy breast. Thy stuffing come Thy meats be done on plates as…

Instead of saying sweet dreams, I say "Good night. I hope you don't have too many nightmares." Instead of saying…

Back then you could buy a tankful of feeder guppies for just a few cents.  You could pick up an…

Klaus described in great detail how he was going to engineer a car that ran solely on blood, human blood. …

On encountering old co-workers.

In a non-threatening way.

23 Years Old

“The Air conditioning was cranked so high, I came home to cold eared bunnies in loaf position in August”

A modern day translation of Ernest Hemingway's short story Hills Like White Elephants Hill related Ebrol long valley and white.

The following transcript is the abridged version of an E-bay customer transaction gone wrong. This poor woman just wanted to…

I did not know that in 2005 they found his body in a Connecticut field with his throat slit.  Charles…

Snow·bow [snoh-boh]  noun 1. A bow or arc of prismatic colors appearing in the sky opposite the sun and caused…

Late 90's art icon It Come has resurfaced at The Sanctuary of Mercy Church near the Spanish city of Zaragoza.

"Never get between a man and his coffee this early in the morning," said the man to his daughter. A…

A shocking and offensive ad campaign has been rolled out across 18 Catholic universities in the United States featuring a…

your world is covered in dog diarrhea

The Blind Girl by John Everett Millais. The original double rainbow. Too bad they didn’t have Youtube in 1856

Forget World War III, that's so 80's. The real threat is the Carly Simon Wars. Marily Manson, interviewed on Omaha…

Thous ist homeless and shall work for morsels sir. Wilst work for Morsels.  George Will Slept Here and he will…

Your Eyes Look Like They Smell Like Corn

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7iZ3qfJ0I8g&context=C33c1b66ADOEgsToPDskJDf0RUsnvuKSGguoKOxdSZ[/youtube Video above, and below is the transcript of Steven Hawking's terrifying 911 call during his ordeal in a squatch…

There’s a new movie out called We Bought a Zoo. You may think it could never happen, but it already…

Forget the tip. We Need Singles & Newport and Gilrfriend. Spotted at Hess Station in Northern NJ.

Tonight at the mall pet store I overheard a woman saying, “Rabbit, your nails are like hypodermic needles.  My arm!”…

In 1564 the native american indians taught the pilgrims how to survive the harsh north american winters by smoking four…

The ghost of Ronald Reagan is haunting the Whitehouse, quite literally. He first appeared to Obama while he was literally…