Lozaq the father lived next door to us. He looked like a gentle child molester with light dog shit colored…

  Post you guesses below.

“Did you ever hear about the movie less than zero?  That's about your brain power.”

I grew in the ghetto of my town, but I never knew it until I read it in the paper…

Whether you're sure someone is dying this year, or you just hope they are, be sure to wish them a…

I asked my friend’s father if he had any toy robots when he was a kid.  He told me, “Robots…

I unscrewed it and drank the perfume from the unicorn’s horn. I was a little kid, but I knew better.

Taking a drive. Campfire.

Tastes pulpy!

That sun is a reptile and after this, he ain't never shinin' her way again. Art by: bixby

You used to get 3 lives for 25 cents  No continues  And you liked it. 

Belgian tourist, Julio Prejean, witnessed the terrorizing occurrence while vacationing in Honolulu, Hawaii. Prejean told police, “It was a safe…

That’s the assistant mayor. The mayor has beige pants, the assistant mayor has white pants and sneakers

In college,  a professor asked the class why does the black community reject Michael Jackson?  (This was before MJ died…

My dog posed for a sketch.  I placed him on interview.  He is a French serial killer.  French is the…

Merry Christmas to all from your friends at EMToast.

I overheard some hipsters talking at the flea market. The one hipster says to the other hipster , “One thing…

Our turkey who art in heaven, hollow be thy breast. Thy stuffing come Thy meats be done on plates as…

Instead of saying sweet dreams, I say "Good night. I hope you don't have too many nightmares." Instead of saying…

Back then you could buy a tankful of feeder guppies for just a few cents.  You could pick up an…

Klaus described in great detail how he was going to engineer a car that ran solely on blood, human blood. …

On encountering old co-workers.

In a non-threatening way.

23 Years Old

“The Air conditioning was cranked so high, I came home to cold eared bunnies in loaf position in August”

A modern day translation of Ernest Hemingway's short story Hills Like White Elephants Hill related Ebrol long valley and white.