Absurd World News

A man had been having the hots for his neighbor's young Vietnamese wife for a long time. One night he…

Aries You’re feeling lucky this week, well, you are not. Black tie events are in your future, don’t screw it…

A first grade teacher has been punishing the male students in her class by pinching their nipples. When a male…

This guy would go to bookstores and try to take pictures of women with his cell phone. He got caught…

Mix one parts 28 Days Later, one part Return of the Living Dead, one part Excalibur, and one part Escape…

Three years ago a thirty-five year old man met a thirty-three year old woman online. They dated for a while,…

EMToast has done extensive market research and delved deep into EMToast personal memory banks to bring you the top 5…

Aries Your intestinal fortitude will be put to the test by weeks end. Fret not dear Aries those parasites can’t…

I've just finished watching the pilot episode of Fringe of Fox. I don't want to ruin it for anyone who…

We've all seen these workplace voodoo kits, they show up at Christmas parties and birthdays, and everyone gets a laugh…

Several times growing up, my dad claimed to know a secret language. He would utter several sentences of phrases containing…

Remember back in the day when you and your friends would steal the colored sharpies from the art room and…

This season of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles started off with a bang. It really did, and you have to…

G IS FOR Gluttony And Guts When a 13 foot python tries to eat a 6 foot alligator god will…

So after several years of not having cable and not really watching tv, I am back in the game. One…

My girlfriend was just looking at the site and mentioned that hello kitty has a cartoon about fucked up toast.

Ya know, this book got me to thinking that old Michael Landon take on the Wolfman catches a lot of…

well i've finally done it.  i've started a site all about toast.