EMToast Staff

Michael Jackson Was a poor father, but liked to say this to his kids for encouragement... "A bee gave me…

Welcome to our new non-regular feature "Ask the Doctor" where readers ask questions of  the world renounced general practitioner Dr.

Photo by k6martini

On the twelfth day of Christmas Justin Bieber dressed for thee: Twelve Girl From Twin Peaks Eleven Kris Jenners or…

Crusty Cringle the disgusing Santa Claus with the milk crusted coat is coming to our local area.  Make sure you…

On the eleventh day of Christmas Justin Bieber dressed for thee: Eleven Kris Jenners or Edward Cullens Ten Guy from…

The Sony Pictures hack has taken another crazy turn. This time into a totally unrelated industry, and corporate heads are…

On the tenth day of Christmas Justin Bieber dressed for thee: Ten Guy from Super Troopers Nine Kristen Stewarts Eight…

What do reindeer dream about? Brittle old people bones. So says the oracle. Photo by MarioMancuso

On the ninth day of Christmas Justin Bieber dressed for thee: Nine Kristen Stewarts Eight Boris Karloffs Seven Selena Gomezs…

One of the seniors worked in the produce dept. He seemed to have figured out how to get by working…

On the eighth day of Christmas Justin Bieber dressed for thee: Eight Boris Karloffs Seven Selena Gomezs Six Amy Winehouse…

The boys heard that the new assistant store manager, was married to a lunch lady at their old grammar school…

On the seventh day of Christmas Justin Bieber dressed for thee: Seven Selena Gomezs Six Amy Winehouse Five Jason Priestleys…

The time. 1993. The place. A dept store receiving dock. The characters. Mr. Piff, the Operations Manager. Don, the LTL…

On the sixth day of Christmas Justin Bieber dressed for thee: Six Amy Winehouse Five Jason Priestleys Four Taylor Swifts…

Photo by xlibber Doctors should know that prescribing certain blood pressure pills to overweight patients with excessive body body hair…

On the fifth day of Christmas Justin Bieber dressed for thee: Five Jason Priestleys Four Taylor Swifts Three Osama Bin…

Photo By Walmart Corporate Each day at 3:30, the warehouse receiver sat at the gray metal desk to calculate the…

On the fourth day of Christmas Justin Bieber dressed for thee: Four Taylor Swifts Three Osama Bin Ladens Two Khloe…

On the third day of Christmas Justin Bieber dressed for thee: Three Osama Bin Ladens Two Khloe Kardashians and a…

On the second day of Christmas Justin Bieber dressed for thee: Two Khloe Kardashians and a Kelly Osbourne with red…

On the first day of Christmas Justin Bieber dressed for thee: A Kelly Osbourne with red cheeks

Photo by WarmSleepy TIME has announced their Word of the Year and it’s one most of us have never heard…

Hope stands alone.  Immune to the contagious facial Impetago that has decimated her family this holiday season. No less than…

Frank9 pet us please!

Tambako the Jaguar Step 1: Eat the dry twig. (Put a dry twig between your teeth and chew a dry…

Gudlyf Step 1: Eat the fresh fig. (Put a fresh fig between your teeth and chew a fresh fig) Congratulations…

A: I left my phone at home. Don't be sad if I don't answer your texts until later. B: I…

Floss is good. You not a scumbag otherwise you can live in town with no teeth.

Billy Wizard told me some women should be wearing lysol for perfoom it will help theyr job

there are no white teeth on pretty girls unless they bleach them to be in the pornose movies Billy Wizard…

Brought to you by, your friends at the National Hamburger Council of Panama & BurgersForTheSight.org Please detach and keep within…

Top Bun: For upper lid firmness to protect your eye from sharp objects. Lettuce: For whiter eyes Tomatoes: For round…

Today a eagle is born the most powerful the merkin nagel. Billy likes it best of off the kinds

Fritzy write in you journal. You can not make me wright a journal entry today if I do not have…

The big story in the news today is that one third of American's are in debt and have debt collectors…

Today it rain. I did not say dry and Billy Wizard said to me stop shivering like a shitting dog.

today I went to my friends hause his name is yehuda weiner his ma gave us dry bad cookies like…

Pep’s Confusion Filter was printed in fancy blue letters across the side of the bottle. The men were drinking it…

Are you sure that's a good place to hide the body?

Even though he wouldn’t eat the candy, in the end they still made him into a sugar skull.

When I die, I hope to be reborn as a 1989 Toyota Tercel.  Rusted and dependable, but unwanted.

The social networking giant will begin rolling out an advanced friend rating system on Friday. Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerburg announced…

It’d be wild. But she's a bitch just like her mother.