EMToast Staff

President Obama was taking a helicopter tour over Buckingham Palace. The vibration of the chopper combined with the Xtra-Large coffee…

Billy Wizard and Laser Dog Sent in by 7 year old Fritzy McGee of Lansing Michigan Fritzy writes: "HI Emtoast,…

The robot uprising has begun. The first soldier in the war against humans was a tiny worker bot named robot…

Claritza was a young pretty stripper. She supported her family on the earnings she made in just a few nights…

Readers submission from Fritzy McGee (age 7) of Lansing Michigan Fritzy writes: "dear emtoast, you are delicious in the morning…

Rancho Cucamonga, CA - While browsing the internet during study hall one fall afternoon, high school hurdle hopper Harold Hamstrung…

When I was a boy I used to see these dirty old perverts and I’d say to myself man that’s…

MIKE WAKES UP ROAR!!! Look how happy he is in the morning. He stretches his legs and pounds his chest.

Wet tail is a terrible affliction that can infect your pet hamster or even cartoon mice.  Beware the wet tail. …

These days you just never know who is going to cannibalize you.  This kid looks all innocent until he opens…

Inspired by the song Hall of Heads by They Might Be Giants although the lyric is actually roll out that…

Mens van de Ezels de Slepende Hond By Theodore van Gogh Curators at the Staatliche Museen zu Berlin have discovered…

“Mike” and his girlfriend had been dating for nearly a year. No matter how much he begged her, she would…

There was a rumor about Don. His wife came home from work and found him lying on the couch, in…

Fairlawn, NJ- The normally quiet nights of this lazy suburb have been pierced by strange mewling noises, what is even…

Lodi, NJ – A 9 year old 5th grader attending Hillstop School in Lodi NJ has committed suicide after a…

A sick woman was suspicious of husband having an affair and had her son install a GPS Global Positioning System…

A divorced woman got dumped by her new boyfriend after 6 months for no reason . She was suspicious that…

A 31 year old male student found out that a certain Massage Center provides Full Services, so he bought a…

West Dakota Bad Ass – By Micheloebangelo

A band of zombie gorillas has been discovered in the African Congo. Piles of dead Gorillas are left everywhere by…

Dissatisfied with the poor performance of Katie Couric, Sean McManus, president of CBS News and Don Hewitt, CBS news executive…

Professor Chekaren Suslov has unofficially adopted the creature he is credited with discovering while on an expedition in in the…

Lake Cheko- Scientists have discovered an previously unknown species in the center of the Tunguska Region. This strange discovery comes…

A recall may be in the future for Cadbury Adams Tooth Enhancing Gum. The FDA has forced the company to…

By me. This is one of those videos that you just keep coming back to year after year after year.

Who says there aren’t any jobs available? You an always move to the UK and become an ass holder.

A baby Ass dragging werewolf thinks a chicken is his mother. He grows up to lead pack of chickens. A…

Two black swans were donated to Wooleng Park, in Taiwan back in 2002. The two swans were very close and…

Little Billy and Suzy came running downstairs first thing in the morning in search of their Easter baskets. Only to…

I’m Not Emo, I’m Goth, Right? – By Micheloebangelo

A still single 50 year old man was sitting in the first row by the door on a bus on…

Mr. Lee has loved animals all his life and has had many pets. He started keeping wild boars a few…

Using the definitions provided, and your inner rampaging jade giant , fill out the boxes below with the correct type…

A Denver woman who believed her daughter to be suffering from bi-polar disorder attempted to have her committed to St.

Cherry Cheeks Beauty - By Micheloebangelo The Smiling Virgin – By Micheloebangelo

Absolutely Disgusting!

Just because your crackhead ex-wife handcuffs herself to you, that doesn't give you an excuse to be a baby. Feed…

http://www.fuckingcloakingdevice.com/ I wonder if this guy got the job?

Due to the economy and wanting to save his cost of keeping 5 mistress, an entrepreneur in China asked his…

J-Lo has no shame for her shit stain.  Looks uncomfortable. See how she’s grabbing at those shit packed pants.  Gross.

One night on the train home with her friends, a woman’s friends pointed out to her that she's had some…

Results of a 2008 patient care survey taken at NY/ NJ/ PA hospitals have found the most offensive term Health…