The wereturkey is an American beast, born in Plimoth, 1621 during the first Thanksgiving dinner. When Edward Winslow, leader of…

“Hi Dad” “Hi little guy”

A man was pissed off after getting dumped by his girlfriend. So he showed up at her house showing her…

Once again we are graced with a reader's submission from 7 year old Fritzy McGee. Fritzy writes: "Sometimes when I…

Port Coquitlam, British Columbia. (PressRelease) November 7, 2009 – Willie Pickton Industries, Inc.®, a major supplier and worldwide exporter of…

ST. LOUIS – Goblins have invaded the southern Missouri town of Kennett. The creatures appear to have been drawn there…

"Everything has got boobs, even my dad and guys, "exclaims 7 year old Charlie Percheffons, the winner of the October…

The upcoming 2010 sequel to the not-quite-cult-classic rat-zombie movie Mulberry Street features a cameo role by Tori Spelling.  Spelling has…

A wife was having an affair with a coworker and went to a motel nearby. She used her credit card…

Two assailants described by onlookers as “raccoon faced freaks” burst into a Red Robin restaurant Thursday assaulting a waitress and…

Scribblenauts is the newest and most addictive DS game to hit the streets. I threw all my other games out…

Peace out!

Riding scooters and yelling. The dogs, even the dogs know that these little children… are wrong. They ride and slide…

Date 9/11/09 Round Rock, TX No noisy fans, dusty screen, or hot computer on your lap. The Dell Notebook is…

This little known day of celebration gets bat owners and bat lovers alike a chance to celebrate their little flying…

May 29th 2009 Richard Coppersmith begins his journey into the unknown territories of deepest darkest Amazon with the purchase of…

Click to check out the EMToast Year One Retrospective.

It’s officially one year since the creation of EMToast. I would like to extend a special thank you to the…

He kind of makes you feel sad like that song about the electric bear from The Notwist. His parents had…

Rest in peace Flo.  Your kindness taught Chico, CA to never judge a book by it's cover. A photo of…

When the eyes of Uncle Hot Dogs look into your soul, you know that you have been chosen by a…

In order to make money fighting with bears, the wild ones must be avoided. Not only are they dangerous, but…

A unicorn is a wonderful thing. The very best unicorns have rainbow horns and like to drive around in cars…

A time traveling space woman is the mother to 70’s pornstar Linda Lovelace? A cranky fortune telling future man named…

Tourists must see hot spot. When you have a dog sometimes either you start to look like your dog or…

That is not a giant bar of soap that the baboons are attacking.  It is icy fruit the delicious summer…

A rollicking good time for all!! He rides to work in a top hat and tails, his vehicle is a…

The year-1964. The location-Madrid, Spain. Esteemed scientist Juan Flamingo had 2 passions in life - woman and boxing. Unfortunately he…

A teenage dolphin was seen seducing these 2 old tourists. This one tourist was so into dolphins he spent 35…

Aries- your elderly dad thinks you are an asshole. Prove him right and live down to his expectations dear Aries…

Sometimes somebody you know is harassing the fuck out of you and keeps calling you day and night and you…

Australian tourist, Karl Jurg, captured a horrifying event while vacationing in Florida. Scott Randleston of the Dolphin Research Institute of…

Scientists translate Chihuahua barks - they're saying "I'm a tiny asshole."

President Obama was taking a helicopter tour over Buckingham Palace. The vibration of the chopper combined with the Xtra-Large coffee…

Billy Wizard and Laser Dog Sent in by 7 year old Fritzy McGee of Lansing Michigan Fritzy writes: "HI Emtoast,…

The robot uprising has begun. The first soldier in the war against humans was a tiny worker bot named robot…

Claritza was a young pretty stripper. She supported her family on the earnings she made in just a few nights…

Readers submission from Fritzy McGee (age 7) of Lansing Michigan Fritzy writes: "dear emtoast, you are delicious in the morning…

Rancho Cucamonga, CA - While browsing the internet during study hall one fall afternoon, high school hurdle hopper Harold Hamstrung…

When I was a boy I used to see these dirty old perverts and I’d say to myself man that’s…

MIKE WAKES UP ROAR!!! Look how happy he is in the morning. He stretches his legs and pounds his chest.

Wet tail is a terrible affliction that can infect your pet hamster or even cartoon mice.  Beware the wet tail. …

These days you just never know who is going to cannibalize you.  This kid looks all innocent until he opens…

Inspired by the song Hall of Heads by They Might Be Giants although the lyric is actually roll out that…

Mens van de Ezels de Slepende Hond By Theodore van Gogh Curators at the Staatliche Museen zu Berlin have discovered…

“Mike” and his girlfriend had been dating for nearly a year. No matter how much he begged her, she would…

There was a rumor about Don. His wife came home from work and found him lying on the couch, in…