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Absurd World News

September 27th is National Bat Brushing Day

This little known day of celebration gets bat owners and bat lovers alike a chance to celebrate their little flying…

September 9, 2009
Absurd World News

The Chronicles of Coppersmith: One Man's Terrible Foray into the Territories of Amazon

May 29th 2009 Richard Coppersmith begins his journey into the unknown territories of deepest darkest Amazon with the purchase of…

September 8, 2009
Art of the Folked

Happy One Year Anniversary! EMToast

Click to check out the EMToast Year One Retrospective.

September 6, 2009
Absurd World News

EMToast Year One Retrospective

It’s officially one year since the creation of EMToast. I would like to extend a special thank you to the…

September 5, 2009
Art of the Folked

Parenting IS for everybody, even people who hate kids

He kind of makes you feel sad like that song about the electric bear from The Notwist. His parents had…

August 25, 2009
Absurd World News

Kindest Old Woman You've EVER Seen

Rest in peace Flo.  Your kindness taught Chico, CA to never judge a book by it's cover. A photo of…

August 22, 2009
Absurd World News

Uncle Hot Dogs is Back

When the eyes of Uncle Hot Dogs look into your soul, you know that you have been chosen by a…

August 21, 2009
Absurd World News

Man With Three Asses Jumps the Line

August 20, 2009
Absurd World News

How To Make Money Fighting Famous Bears

In order to make money fighting with bears, the wild ones must be avoided. Not only are they dangerous, but…

August 16, 2009
Art of the Folked

Jealous Horse Loses Eye, Rainbow Horn Unicorn to Blame

A unicorn is a wonderful thing. The very best unicorns have rainbow horns and like to drive around in cars…

August 12, 2009
Absurd World News

Area 51 Exposed: The Deep Throat Connection

A time traveling space woman is the mother to 70’s pornstar Linda Lovelace? A cranky fortune telling future man named…

August 10, 2009
Curious Ideas

Look Alike - Police Station Chief and His Pet Dog

Tourists must see hot spot. When you have a dog sometimes either you start to look like your dog or…

August 5, 2009
Curious Ideas

Icy Fruit for Monkeys "Look at that butt!"

That is not a giant bar of soap that the baboons are attacking.  It is icy fruit the delicious summer…

August 5, 2009
Absurd World News

The Super Duper Vegan Egan Power Hour

A rollicking good time for all!! He rides to work in a top hat and tails, his vehicle is a…

July 28, 2009
Absurd World News

Flamenco strikes back!! The Untold Origin of Punch-Out's Don Flamenco!

The year-1964. The location-Madrid, Spain. Esteemed scientist Juan Flamingo had 2 passions in life - woman and boxing. Unfortunately he…

July 27, 2009
Absurd World News

Dolphin Seduces Middle Aged Tourists

A teenage dolphin was seen seducing these 2 old tourists. This one tourist was so into dolphins he spent 35…

July 22, 2009
Absurd World News

Horrorscopes for July 2009

Aries- your elderly dad thinks you are an asshole. Prove him right and live down to his expectations dear Aries…

July 22, 2009
Art of the Folked

Fuck You Genie

Sometimes somebody you know is harassing the fuck out of you and keeps calling you day and night and you…

July 22, 2009
Absurd World News

Dolphin Rape Caught on Film

Australian tourist, Karl Jurg, captured a horrifying event while vacationing in Florida. Scott Randleston of the Dolphin Research Institute of…

July 5, 2009
Absurd World News

Scientists Translate Chihuahua Barks

Scientists translate Chihuahua barks - they're saying "I'm a tiny asshole."

June 27, 2009
Absurd World News

Obama Bombs Buckingham Palace

President Obama was taking a helicopter tour over Buckingham Palace. The vibration of the chopper combined with the Xtra-Large coffee…

June 26, 2009
Art of the Folked

Laser Dog Protects Billy Wizard's Shit

Billy Wizard and Laser Dog Sent in by 7 year old Fritzy McGee of Lansing Michigan Fritzy writes: "HI Emtoast,…

June 26, 2009
Absurd World News

Suck My Bolt: Robot Uprising Begins

The robot uprising has begun. The first soldier in the war against humans was a tiny worker bot named robot…

June 25, 2009
Absurd World News

Stripper Branded with Diarrhea Tramp Stamp

Claritza was a young pretty stripper. She supported her family on the earnings she made in just a few nights…

June 25, 2009
Art of the Folked

Dirty Germs With Comb Overs

Readers submission from Fritzy McGee (age 7) of Lansing Michigan Fritzy writes: "dear emtoast, you are delicious in the morning…

June 25, 2009
Absurd World News

Track Star Crippled During Video Game Speed Run

Rancho Cucamonga, CA - While browsing the internet during study hall one fall afternoon, high school hurdle hopper Harold Hamstrung…

June 20, 2009
Absurd World News

The Boy Who Became a Pervy Old Man

When I was a boy I used to see these dirty old perverts and I’d say to myself man that’s…

June 19, 2009
Absurd World News

Mike the Bear Wakes Up. ROAR!!!

MIKE WAKES UP ROAR!!! Look how happy he is in the morning. He stretches his legs and pounds his chest.

June 18, 2009
Art of the Folked

help me i am so sick i think i have wet tail

Wet tail is a terrible affliction that can infect your pet hamster or even cartoon mice.  Beware the wet tail. …

June 14, 2009
Art of the Folked

I Ate My Dentist

These days you just never know who is going to cannibalize you.  This kid looks all innocent until he opens…

June 8, 2009
Art of the Folked

Roll Out Your Favorite Head

Inspired by the song Hall of Heads by They Might Be Giants although the lyric is actually roll out that…

June 8, 2009
Absurd World News

Hidden van Gogh Painting Discovered in Berlin Museum

Mens van de Ezels de Slepende Hond By Theodore van Gogh Curators at the Staatliche Museen zu Berlin have discovered…

June 5, 2009
Absurd World News

Man Kills Girlfriend Because She Won't Give Blow Job

“Mike” and his girlfriend had been dating for nearly a year. No matter how much he begged her, she would…

May 31, 2009
Absurd World News

Don's Wife Leaves Him for Another Woman

There was a rumor about Don. His wife came home from work and found him lying on the couch, in…

May 30, 2009
Absurd World News

Nocturnal Creature Stalks New Jersey Suburb

Fairlawn, NJ- The normally quiet nights of this lazy suburb have been pierced by strange mewling noises, what is even…

May 25, 2009
Absurd World News

9 Year Old Boy Commits Suicide After Learning Mummies Are Real

Lodi, NJ – A 9 year old 5th grader attending Hillstop School in Lodi NJ has committed suicide after a…

May 24, 2009
Absurd World News

Husband Caught Having Sex With Bible Study Partner

A sick woman was suspicious of husband having an affair and had her son install a GPS Global Positioning System…

May 23, 2009
Absurd World News

Swine Flu Posters to Appear in Public Restrooms

May 14, 2009
Absurd World News

Russian Scientist Takes Tunguska Creature on Tropical Vacation

May 14, 2009
Art of the Folked

God Loves Swine Flu

May 14, 2009
Absurd World News

Crooked P.I.s Blackmail & Threaten to Spoon Out Client’s Eyes

A divorced woman got dumped by her new boyfriend after 6 months for no reason . She was suspicious that…

May 3, 2009
Absurd World News

Massage Parlor Whore Swallows Used Condom to Evade Police

A 31 year old male student found out that a certain Massage Center provides Full Services, so he bought a…

May 2, 2009
Art of the Folked

Art of the Folked: West Dakota Bad Ass

West Dakota Bad Ass – By Micheloebangelo

May 2, 2009
Absurd World News

Band of Zombie Gorillas Discovered In Congo

A band of zombie gorillas has been discovered in the African Congo. Piles of dead Gorillas are left everywhere by…

April 28, 2009
Absurd World News

Tiny Anchorman to Replace CBS NEWS Katie Couric

Dissatisfied with the poor performance of Katie Couric, Sean McManus, president of CBS News and Don Hewitt, CBS news executive…

April 27, 2009
Absurd World News

Russian Scientist's Family Adopts Tunguska Creature

Professor Chekaren Suslov has unofficially adopted the creature he is credited with discovering while on an expedition in in the…

April 22, 2009
Absurd World News

Strange Creature Discovered in Tunguska Wasteland

Lake Cheko- Scientists have discovered an previously unknown species in the center of the Tunguska Region. This strange discovery comes…

April 20, 2009
Art of the Folked

Creepy Dinner, Just Like Mom Used to Make

April 20, 2009
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