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Absurd World News

Doctors Warn, Wishing Causes Coma

Never make a wish. Doctors at the Northeast Center for Brain Injury and Coma Research have released a shocking new…

May 16, 2010
Absurd World News

Infant Body Builders: Limits Are For Adults

How young is too young? To these infant body builders affectionately known as “baby builders” it is never too early…

April 26, 2010
Absurd World News

I Think We Gave the Yeti Too Much Sugar

A strange creature dubbed the “bear yeti” has baffled Alaskan scientists. The animal was trapped by a group of ice…

April 17, 2010
Art of the Folked

Avatar Suicide Prevention with Billy Wizard

Pants on the ground is a life changing song it helps young people not kill theyselves after seeing Avatar the…

February 13, 2010
Curious Ideas

Jesus Saved Me... from Getting Kicked Out of Community College

Children's Literature is the last course I ever imagined I'd take. Yet there I was, analyzing Curious George in my…

January 25, 2010
Curious Ideas

Gamma Irradiated Old Man: A Tale of Arm Wrestling and Sleeping Next to Bears

On the old 1970’s Incredible Hulk TV show with Bill Bixby and Lou Ferrigno, there was an episode where this…

January 21, 2010
Absurd World News

Love Me Lincoln Newest VH1 Reality Show

‘ Recently re-Animated dead prez Abraham Lincoln is planning on jumping back in the spotlight this spring. In a recent…

January 14, 2010
Absurd World News

UC Irvine Clinic Accused of Illegal Alien Embryo Transfer

A clinic operated by the University of California-Irvine may have been involved in illegal alien embryo transfer in 1998. Records…

January 11, 2010
Art of the Folked

Nice Shirt... Do They Make It In Men's?

I know a guy who gets into a lot of fights, and nearly every story he tells about them contains…

January 3, 2010
Curious Ideas

Chinese Fire Drills Can't Even Kill A Bitch

(The following excerpt is taken from Ben Franklin's personal diary) "Today Lodi popped into my head. Summer 1979 Lodi, running…

December 30, 2009
Art of the Folked

Children Choose Dinosaur Burn Up as Worst Fate

Some say the worst way to go is drowning.  I beg to differ, as most kids will tell you the…

December 19, 2009
Art of the Folked

Strange Figure Shakes the Giant Hand

I have a cool jacket with white spots on it.

December 18, 2009
Art of the Folked

Skeleton Back

You never come back from being a skeleton back.

December 17, 2009
Curious Ideas

Workplace Mystery #773: Sharing is Creepy

This lady that I work with comes to my deskish area and says, Oh hey I thought of you this…

December 16, 2009
Absurd World News

Turkeyman: Curse of the Wereturkey

The wereturkey is an American beast, born in Plimoth, 1621 during the first Thanksgiving dinner. When Edward Winslow, leader of…

November 26, 2009
Art of the Folked

God and Baby Jesus

“Hi Dad” “Hi little guy”

November 12, 2009
Absurd World News

Jilted Lover Blackmails Ex With Nude Photo

A man was pissed off after getting dumped by his girlfriend. So he showed up at her house showing her…

November 12, 2009
Absurd World News

Rainbows In Her Brain Meats

Once again we are graced with a reader's submission from 7 year old Fritzy McGee. Fritzy writes: "Sometimes when I…

November 12, 2009
Absurd World News

Swine Fluid Pork Scented Washer Fluid

Port Coquitlam, British Columbia. (PressRelease) November 7, 2009 – Willie Pickton Industries, Inc.®, a major supplier and worldwide exporter of…

November 7, 2009
Absurd World News

Goblins Invade southern Missouri town of Kennett

ST. LOUIS – Goblins have invaded the southern Missouri town of Kennett. The creatures appear to have been drawn there…

October 17, 2009
Absurd World News

Everything Has Boobs: October is Breast Awareness Month

"Everything has got boobs, even my dad and guys, "exclaims 7 year old Charlie Percheffons, the winner of the October…

October 11, 2009
Absurd World News

My Rat Water Just Broke!

The upcoming 2010 sequel to the not-quite-cult-classic rat-zombie movie Mulberry Street features a cameo role by Tori Spelling.  Spelling has…

October 3, 2009
Absurd World News

Unfaithful Slut Wife Exposed by Motel Punch Card

A wife was having an affair with a coworker and went to a motel nearby. She used her credit card…

October 3, 2009
Absurd World News

"Raccoon Faced Freaks" Assault Waitress

Two assailants described by onlookers as “raccoon faced freaks” burst into a Red Robin restaurant Thursday assaulting a waitress and…

September 25, 2009
Absurd World News

Anybody Votes! Scribblenauts Favorite Words

Scribblenauts is the newest and most addictive DS game to hit the streets. I threw all my other games out…

September 21, 2009
Absurd World News

The World Mourns the Loss of Its Dirtiest Dancer

Peace out!

September 14, 2009
Curious Ideas

Three Breasted Mother Suckles Pigs In Muddy Crawlspace

Riding scooters and yelling. The dogs, even the dogs know that these little children… are wrong. They ride and slide…

September 12, 2009
Absurd World News

Dell Introduces 99 cent Wireless Notebook for Back to School

Date 9/11/09 Round Rock, TX No noisy fans, dusty screen, or hot computer on your lap. The Dell Notebook is…

September 11, 2009
Absurd World News

September 27th is National Bat Brushing Day

This little known day of celebration gets bat owners and bat lovers alike a chance to celebrate their little flying…

September 9, 2009
Absurd World News

The Chronicles of Coppersmith: One Man's Terrible Foray into the Territories of Amazon

May 29th 2009 Richard Coppersmith begins his journey into the unknown territories of deepest darkest Amazon with the purchase of…

September 8, 2009
Art of the Folked

Happy One Year Anniversary! EMToast

Click to check out the EMToast Year One Retrospective.

September 6, 2009
Absurd World News

EMToast Year One Retrospective

It’s officially one year since the creation of EMToast. I would like to extend a special thank you to the…

September 5, 2009
Art of the Folked

Parenting IS for everybody, even people who hate kids

He kind of makes you feel sad like that song about the electric bear from The Notwist. His parents had…

August 25, 2009
Absurd World News

Kindest Old Woman You've EVER Seen

Rest in peace Flo.  Your kindness taught Chico, CA to never judge a book by it's cover. A photo of…

August 22, 2009
Absurd World News

Uncle Hot Dogs is Back

When the eyes of Uncle Hot Dogs look into your soul, you know that you have been chosen by a…

August 21, 2009
Absurd World News

Man With Three Asses Jumps the Line

August 20, 2009
Absurd World News

How To Make Money Fighting Famous Bears

In order to make money fighting with bears, the wild ones must be avoided. Not only are they dangerous, but…

August 16, 2009
Art of the Folked

Jealous Horse Loses Eye, Rainbow Horn Unicorn to Blame

A unicorn is a wonderful thing. The very best unicorns have rainbow horns and like to drive around in cars…

August 12, 2009
Absurd World News

Area 51 Exposed: The Deep Throat Connection

A time traveling space woman is the mother to 70’s pornstar Linda Lovelace? A cranky fortune telling future man named…

August 10, 2009
Curious Ideas

Look Alike - Police Station Chief and His Pet Dog

Tourists must see hot spot. When you have a dog sometimes either you start to look like your dog or…

August 5, 2009
Curious Ideas

Icy Fruit for Monkeys "Look at that butt!"

That is not a giant bar of soap that the baboons are attacking.  It is icy fruit the delicious summer…

August 5, 2009
Absurd World News

The Super Duper Vegan Egan Power Hour

A rollicking good time for all!! He rides to work in a top hat and tails, his vehicle is a…

July 28, 2009
Absurd World News

Flamenco strikes back!! The Untold Origin of Punch-Out's Don Flamenco!

The year-1964. The location-Madrid, Spain. Esteemed scientist Juan Flamingo had 2 passions in life - woman and boxing. Unfortunately he…

July 27, 2009
Absurd World News

Dolphin Seduces Middle Aged Tourists

A teenage dolphin was seen seducing these 2 old tourists. This one tourist was so into dolphins he spent 35…

July 22, 2009
Absurd World News

Horrorscopes for July 2009

Aries- your elderly dad thinks you are an asshole. Prove him right and live down to his expectations dear Aries…

July 22, 2009
Art of the Folked

Fuck You Genie

Sometimes somebody you know is harassing the fuck out of you and keeps calling you day and night and you…

July 22, 2009
Absurd World News

Dolphin Rape Caught on Film

Australian tourist, Karl Jurg, captured a horrifying event while vacationing in Florida. Scott Randleston of the Dolphin Research Institute of…

July 5, 2009
Absurd World News

Scientists Translate Chihuahua Barks

Scientists translate Chihuahua barks - they're saying "I'm a tiny asshole."

June 27, 2009
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