"She dabbed at her eyes with her hooks"

It’s a worldwide epidemic.

Readers submission from Fritzy McGee (age 7) of Lansing Michigan Fritzy writes: "dear emtoast, you are delicious in the morning…

Look Ma! I made a picture of cocaine on tinfoil with blood on it.

Today I met a robot. He has a gun. He shoots the gun, but not at me. He won’t break…