Absurd World News

This is the sneak preview of the “Toast Face One” Billboard to be rolled out late this fall.  Artwork for…

This is the sneak preview of the “Dirty Germs With Combovers” Billboard to be rolled out late this fall. Artwork…

The second billboard in this fall’s marketing campaign begs the target market to put an end to dolphin rape. Since…

This fall EMToast will begin a Billboard marketing campaign in select cities.  This is the sneak preview of the “No…

Big Clark was one of the greatest singers of the 20th century. The key to becoming a superior singer is…

Belgian tourist, Julio Prejean, witnessed the terrorizing occurrence while vacationing in Honolulu, Hawaii. Prejean told police, “It was a safe…

Our turkey who art in heaven, hollow be thy breast. Thy stuffing come Thy meats be done on plates as…

The following transcript is the abridged version of an E-bay customer transaction gone wrong. This poor woman just wanted to…

Snow·bow [snoh-boh]  noun 1. A bow or arc of prismatic colors appearing in the sky opposite the sun and caused…

Late 90's art icon It Come has resurfaced at The Sanctuary of Mercy Church near the Spanish city of Zaragoza.

A shocking and offensive ad campaign has been rolled out across 18 Catholic universities in the United States featuring a…

Forget World War III, that's so 80's. The real threat is the Carly Simon Wars. Marily Manson, interviewed on Omaha…

Thous ist homeless and shall work for morsels sir. Wilst work for Morsels.  George Will Slept Here and he will…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7iZ3qfJ0I8g&context=C33c1b66ADOEgsToPDskJDf0RUsnvuKSGguoKOxdSZ[/youtube Video above, and below is the transcript of Steven Hawking's terrifying 911 call during his ordeal in a squatch…

Forget the tip. We Need Singles & Newport and Gilrfriend. Spotted at Hess Station in Northern NJ.

The ghost of Ronald Reagan is haunting the Whitehouse, quite literally. He first appeared to Obama while he was literally…

In the great year of 1978, women were freed from their bloody bondage by the invention of a simple wax…

On Oct 18, 2011 dozens of wild and dangerous animals were let loose from a private zoo in Zanesville, OH.

Around midnight on April 25th, a 32 year old man ran into a police station in his underwear asking for…

EMToast contributor Toe Fu has taken on an ambitious photo project for video game shirt company Meat Bun. He's got…

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life ... Never make a pretty woman your wife ...

A new study conducted by Station Park Cancer Hospital has shown that between the years 1973 and 2010 ninety-nine percent…

See what our customers have to say: Horse Vestors Understood My Unique Situation "...HorseVestors seemed to understand my unique situation.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE CONTACT: Randall Stott NEW ‘BLEEP YOUR BOSS’ REALITY SHOW HITS CLACKAMAS, OREGON Clackamas, OR - EMToast Entertainment…

Find and circle all the famous authors that are hidden on the grid below. Click to enlarge. Don’t blow out…

The green revolution is upon us with everything from recycling, reusing, up-cycling and re-purposing. It’s all about what’s old is…

How do you know if you’re a hoarder? Here are the 10 telltale signs that indicate hoarding behavior. 1. If…

A local restaurant faxed their lunch menu to the office of a friend with an unusual lunch special– Rip Rourin…

They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. But what if the eyes you are looking into have…

Winter’s Bone is the title of a movie, but do you know what Winters Bone means? The dictionary definition of…

If there’s one thing I learned from Pac-Man it’s that the fruit is a trap.  You might think it’s a…

By: jake.auzzie Just when you thought “Biever Fever” was over, Justin Bieber has decided that tampons and maxi-pads should be…

James Vanderbiek claims he has discovered the reset button for the human soul, and it’s not what you think. Most…

Department store Santa’s are known to victimize and terrorize children and adults alike. The classic image of a child crying…

Buying puppies from the petstore is wrong. You’ve got to just let them die. Buying them supports puppy mills. Don’t…

Evolution, the mysterious force responsible for transforming us from happy-go-lucky banana peeling tree climbers into misery infected cubicle crawling keyboard…

EMToast has obtained exclusive audio of Paris Hilton admitting to friends that she “thinks she is having a robot baby.”…

EMToast has obtained exclusive audio of Paris Hilton admitting that she "made out with a monkey." Audio Transcript: "I like…

Alexander Hamilton, our beak nosed fifth president and designer of the 10 dollar bill lives right up the street from…

Before Snookie, The Situation or any of those other Jersey Shore bimbos hit the scene, the ORIGINAL Bimbo 3 Ring…

In recent weeks EMToast has received a number of comments from a visitor by the name of Sickjunior. After visiting…

Nonsense is the new making sense. At least at UC Berkeley Dept of Psychology where Professors Tania Griffith and Tomas…

Who invented Skittles? It’s a simple question with many answers. An internet search would lead you to believe they were…

It’s not every day that you get the chance to interview a werewolf. One of the benefits of a site…

Never make a wish. Doctors at the Northeast Center for Brain Injury and Coma Research have released a shocking new…

How young is too young? To these infant body builders affectionately known as “baby builders” it is never too early…

A strange creature dubbed the “bear yeti” has baffled Alaskan scientists. The animal was trapped by a group of ice…

‘ Recently re-Animated dead prez Abraham Lincoln is planning on jumping back in the spotlight this spring. In a recent…