Absurd World News

A shocking and offensive ad campaign has been rolled out across 18 Catholic universities in the United States featuring a…

Forget World War III, that's so 80's. The real threat is the Carly Simon Wars. Marily Manson, interviewed on Omaha…

Thous ist homeless and shall work for morsels sir. Wilst work for Morsels.  George Will Slept Here and he will…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7iZ3qfJ0I8g&context=C33c1b66ADOEgsToPDskJDf0RUsnvuKSGguoKOxdSZ[/youtube Video above, and below is the transcript of Steven Hawking's terrifying 911 call during his ordeal in a squatch…

Forget the tip. We Need Singles & Newport and Gilrfriend. Spotted at Hess Station in Northern NJ.

The ghost of Ronald Reagan is haunting the Whitehouse, quite literally. He first appeared to Obama while he was literally…

In the great year of 1978, women were freed from their bloody bondage by the invention of a simple wax…

On Oct 18, 2011 dozens of wild and dangerous animals were let loose from a private zoo in Zanesville, OH.

Around midnight on April 25th, a 32 year old man ran into a police station in his underwear asking for…

EMToast contributor Toe Fu has taken on an ambitious photo project for video game shirt company Meat Bun. He's got…

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life ... Never make a pretty woman your wife ...

A new study conducted by Station Park Cancer Hospital has shown that between the years 1973 and 2010 ninety-nine percent…

See what our customers have to say: Horse Vestors Understood My Unique Situation "...HorseVestors seemed to understand my unique situation.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE CONTACT: Randall Stott NEW ‘BLEEP YOUR BOSS’ REALITY SHOW HITS CLACKAMAS, OREGON Clackamas, OR - EMToast Entertainment…

Find and circle all the famous authors that are hidden on the grid below. Click to enlarge. Don’t blow out…

The green revolution is upon us with everything from recycling, reusing, up-cycling and re-purposing. It’s all about what’s old is…

How do you know if you’re a hoarder? Here are the 10 telltale signs that indicate hoarding behavior. 1. If…

A local restaurant faxed their lunch menu to the office of a friend with an unusual lunch special– Rip Rourin…

They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. But what if the eyes you are looking into have…

Winter’s Bone is the title of a movie, but do you know what Winters Bone means? The dictionary definition of…

If there’s one thing I learned from Pac-Man it’s that the fruit is a trap.  You might think it’s a…

By: jake.auzzie Just when you thought “Biever Fever” was over, Justin Bieber has decided that tampons and maxi-pads should be…

James Vanderbiek claims he has discovered the reset button for the human soul, and it’s not what you think. Most…

Department store Santa’s are known to victimize and terrorize children and adults alike. The classic image of a child crying…

Buying puppies from the petstore is wrong. You’ve got to just let them die. Buying them supports puppy mills. Don’t…

Evolution, the mysterious force responsible for transforming us from happy-go-lucky banana peeling tree climbers into misery infected cubicle crawling keyboard…

EMToast has obtained exclusive audio of Paris Hilton admitting to friends that she “thinks she is having a robot baby.”…

EMToast has obtained exclusive audio of Paris Hilton admitting that she "made out with a monkey." Audio Transcript: "I like…

Alexander Hamilton, our beak nosed fifth president and designer of the 10 dollar bill lives right up the street from…

Before Snookie, The Situation or any of those other Jersey Shore bimbos hit the scene, the ORIGINAL Bimbo 3 Ring…

In recent weeks EMToast has received a number of comments from a visitor by the name of Sickjunior. After visiting…

Nonsense is the new making sense. At least at UC Berkeley Dept of Psychology where Professors Tania Griffith and Tomas…

Who invented Skittles? It’s a simple question with many answers. An internet search would lead you to believe they were…

It’s not every day that you get the chance to interview a werewolf. One of the benefits of a site…

Never make a wish. Doctors at the Northeast Center for Brain Injury and Coma Research have released a shocking new…

How young is too young? To these infant body builders affectionately known as “baby builders” it is never too early…

A strange creature dubbed the “bear yeti” has baffled Alaskan scientists. The animal was trapped by a group of ice…

‘ Recently re-Animated dead prez Abraham Lincoln is planning on jumping back in the spotlight this spring. In a recent…

A clinic operated by the University of California-Irvine may have been involved in illegal alien embryo transfer in 1998. Records…

The wereturkey is an American beast, born in Plimoth, 1621 during the first Thanksgiving dinner. When Edward Winslow, leader of…

A man was pissed off after getting dumped by his girlfriend. So he showed up at her house showing her…

Once again we are graced with a reader's submission from 7 year old Fritzy McGee. Fritzy writes: "Sometimes when I…

Port Coquitlam, British Columbia. (PressRelease) November 7, 2009 – Willie Pickton Industries, Inc.®, a major supplier and worldwide exporter of…

ST. LOUIS – Goblins have invaded the southern Missouri town of Kennett. The creatures appear to have been drawn there…

"Everything has got boobs, even my dad and guys, "exclaims 7 year old Charlie Percheffons, the winner of the October…

The upcoming 2010 sequel to the not-quite-cult-classic rat-zombie movie Mulberry Street features a cameo role by Tori Spelling.  Spelling has…

A wife was having an affair with a coworker and went to a motel nearby. She used her credit card…

Two assailants described by onlookers as “raccoon faced freaks” burst into a Red Robin restaurant Thursday assaulting a waitress and…