EMToast Staff

Find and circle all the famous authors that are hidden on the grid below. Click to enlarge. Don’t blow out…

The green revolution is upon us with everything from recycling, reusing, up-cycling and re-purposing. It’s all about what’s old is…

I took my love to a gazebo. We drove past the gazebo. There were no giraffes by this gazebo. photo…

It’s Friday night and the Dandelions are ready to hit the clubs. It’s just past 12 so all the cool…

How do you know if you’re a hoarder? Here are the 10 telltale signs that indicate hoarding behavior. 1. If…

A local restaurant faxed their lunch menu to the office of a friend with an unusual lunch special– Rip Rourin…

My son has a corn tooth.  That boy loves to eat it right off the cob like a little typewriter.

Easter bunny get up this morning and he want hims meat.  Them childrens was runnin all around up and down…

They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. But what if the eyes you are looking into have…

Winter’s Bone is the title of a movie, but do you know what Winters Bone means? The dictionary definition of…

The dolphin left his cave in search of human prey.  Only the moon watched.

Ever taken a psychology class? I took one as a night class at a community college years ago. The professor…

If there’s one thing I learned from Pac-Man it’s that the fruit is a trap.  You might think it’s a…

By: jake.auzzie Just when you thought “Biever Fever” was over, Justin Bieber has decided that tampons and maxi-pads should be…

I emerged this morning from the frost covered cardboard refrigerator box that I now call home. With my first steps…

A man once asked me what is the difference between a city and a town?  A city is bigger I…

James Vanderbiek claims he has discovered the reset button for the human soul, and it’s not what you think. Most…

Department store Santa’s are known to victimize and terrorize children and adults alike. The classic image of a child crying…

Pocahontis 2010 with her free Shop Rite turkey.  The 2nd Thanksgiving.  Pilgrims vs Native Americans.

Don’t smoke no more.  You gotta get your shits together.

Today I met a robot. He has a gun. He shoots the gun, but not at me. He won’t break…

It’s a worldwide epidemic.

Buying puppies from the petstore is wrong. You’ve got to just let them die. Buying them supports puppy mills. Don’t…

Artists rendering of  the unreleased final scene from Apocalypse Now where a Zombie Marlon Brando eats a unicorn who simultaneously…

Evolution, the mysterious force responsible for transforming us from happy-go-lucky banana peeling tree climbers into misery infected cubicle crawling keyboard…

HALLOWEEN WISHES FROM CATS THAT SPRAY SOUR EAR BLOOD FROM THEIR MOUTHS. MAY ALL YOUR CANDY BE  FULL SIZE AND…

EMToast has obtained exclusive audio of Paris Hilton admitting to friends that she “thinks she is having a robot baby.”…

EMToast has obtained exclusive audio of Paris Hilton admitting that she "made out with a monkey." Audio Transcript: "I like…

Grampa: What are all these broccoli doing here? It’s not Christmas? The girl: Wha? What happened to Midnight? Grampa: He…

Alexander Hamilton, our beak nosed fifth president and designer of the 10 dollar bill lives right up the street from…

Before Snookie, The Situation or any of those other Jersey Shore bimbos hit the scene, the ORIGINAL Bimbo 3 Ring…

It was 3 am and this was the second time her bladder had awoken her that night. She lay there…

They say fried food is a killer. I doubt it. The grease is just good for your whole body. It…

THINKING... that's how people get killed. A public service statement from EMToast. photo credit: Focal Intent

I like horses. They have shiny teeth. You can feed them sugar cubes. When it gets real hot they get…

Sitting in the dark.  Nice and relaxed.  You’re both tired. The night is over. You follow her into the next…

In recent weeks EMToast has received a number of comments from a visitor by the name of Sickjunior. After visiting…

Nonsense is the new making sense. At least at UC Berkeley Dept of Psychology where Professors Tania Griffith and Tomas…

This is the text message that I received from a family member on vacation.  I thought it was a joke…

This is an artist's rendering of the result of  a hypothetical coupling between a fictional character named Billy Wizard, and …

Hey! Did you see that movie the Wrestler? Yeah me too. It wasn’t as good as that cartoon back in…

It wake up. It take shower. It get dressed. It eat breakfast with Beatle look-a-like. It wait for bus. Bus…

Who invented Skittles? It’s a simple question with many answers. An internet search would lead you to believe they were…

It’s not every day that you get the chance to interview a werewolf. One of the benefits of a site…

Attention horror movie makers. Enough with the loud noises. They are a poor replacement for talent. You probably put those…

As a boy I idolized Fonzie from Happy Days. The Fonz was the coolest guy. He taught me that you…